"I've got this."
That's what I've been telling myself all semester. School? Yeah! Work? Yeah! Social life? Yeah! Family things? Yeah! I kept convincing myself that I had it all together, but I didn't. Last night I hit my breaking point. After FUSE, our BCM worship service, I was feeling kind of drained and I didn't really know why. So I left before everyone else, went home, turned on Disney's Aladin, and cried. I wasn't even crying about anything imparticular, just crying for no reason. I concluded the cause was stress.
I wrote down all the things I was stressed about thinking it might help...school, work, missing friends from back home, this summer. You name it I was stressed about it.
This morning I had to wake up early for work which didn't help my mental state. After a terrible seven hour shift I was just done. I returned home, made a sandwich for supper, took a long hot bath, and then took a three hour nap. I was still not feeling great. Being mentally drained was causing me to be physically drained as well. One of my friends/bible study sister called me and asked if I was in the mood for coffee. I said "always" and it wasn't ten minutes later before a smiling face showed up at my apartment door with a steaming caramel macchiato and a note that read as follows...
"My dearest Grace,
Sometimes, life gets us down. This world seems to be too much. BUT WAIT! Remember John 16:33. TAKE HEART! Jesus has overcome the world. I love you a lot. Hope this coffee helps. Here for you always..."
I am honored to be blessed with such rich friendships such as this! I don't deserve this kind of love. It's little things like this that put a smile on my face and remind me how often I take my friends for granted.
I am better now. My mental state is almost back to normal. For now, there isn't any crying over nothing and being upset at everything. I took some time away from the world, rested up physically, and had some time just me and God. Time to reflect, be in His presence and in the word. I read through John 16 and was so refreshed by the reminder that this world isn't my home.
I'm learning that I can't do it all and that sometimes I need a break from the world. I'm also learning that just being in His presence is calming.
G R A C E
, by Grace Whittington